Doobybrain.com

It is July 3, 2006, a little less than 24 hours until Independence Day (US), and here I am wondering–yet again–if I am the only one in the apartment. Sometimes I’m not sure if Norman is home because he basically walks into the house like a cat and almost immediately disappears into the batcave-like enclosure known as his room. At least with Simon it was easy for me to know if anybody else was home because I basically have to walk through Simon’s room to get to my room and Simon is usually in his room or in the living room watching TV (or on his laptop).

Anyway, it’s that odd time of night where I’ve been up so long that I begin to type incredibly accurate and fast–faster than I usually do and certainly more accurate than I normally go on for when I type long strings of words.

The past week has been quite a blessing for me. With Simon already gone in the Far East and Norman away for most of the week in Michigan, I was able to just hang out and chilll by myself in the apartment. It was just me and the pets, and I simply loved it. It truly felt like I was living alone, fending (partially) for myself and my four-legged company. I’m not saying that I love being alone or that I love having my brothers away. Definitely not, and if anything, I’m feeling quite the opposite, but I do think that some time alone really heals the soul. :)

With nobody in the apartment, I am able to play music well into the night at volumes that would normally wake people up, and of course, I can play with Joey all I want at any time of the night and not have to worry about him making lots of noise since there’s really no one else around to wake up or bother. I think normally, I would have just invited people to sleep over and keep me company for any particular night or nights, but actually, I didn’t even bother even though I knew I was going to be alone for a few days. I had a lot of time to think and clean and rearrange some stuff in the house. I actually wonder if anybody will notice any time soon. Simon might if he was here. Norman, will definitely not notice though, I’m pretty sure of it. Appropriate for the batcave that he lives in, Norman is just as blind and stealthy as a typical bat, the only difference being that he doesn’t rely on sound echoes for him to find his way around. There’s no doubt in anybody’s mind that the apartment we live in is a bit messy. That is just a fact for us Yung boys, but I can say without hesitation that ever since Norman moved back in, the house has become more of a mess than I would like or would like to handle. The living room is full of things that he has since displaced from its original location and has yet to move out to a permanent location such as the garbage dump or the backroom (a more permanent but still temporary location that’s better since it’s out of the way). Even one look into his room and you’ll find that the once beautiful redecorating that his girlfriend Stephanie did for him as a “coming back home” present has turned into a mess of wires, clothes, and empty bottles. It’d be amazing if I had documented the apartment month by month and had proof to show you, but for now, you’ll just have to take my word for it: this apartment is messier with Norman back.

Of course, all the blame is not his since I do contribute my share of uncleanliness, but at least I do my share to tidy things up every once in a while. Beyond what’s in the sink, on the stove, and in his room, anything that lies beyond those quarters is more or less off limits according to Norman. I came home tonight to find a kitchen floor littered with garbage, most of which was quickly cleaned up by Norman when I was out, I assume. But what I can’t understand is why he didn’t sweep everything back into the garbage. He left all this other stuff that was obviously from the garbage can still on the floor. If Norman really is a bat, then he does have vision like one too. That, or he’s got vision like a horse in Central Park. He’s probably gonna say that he didn’t see the rest of it. I won’t believe it of course, but any attempt on my part to say that there’s no way that he could have not seen it would result in him becoming even more apathetic to the entire situation. So I often just don’t even bring it up. I cleaned up the rest of it.

I understand that Joey was left under my care until Simon gets back from the Far East, but I mean, c’mon, I also had to do my fair share of cleaning even when Simon was in the States and I just happen to come home first to some mess that Joey left for us. I would complain to Simon, duh, but I would also clean anything right away and clean it well. Norman’s jobs thus far have been nothing more than half-assed, and I’m not even exaggerating.

With the exception of the state of the apartment that I live in, there’s just one other thing that’s been on my mind for the past 24 hours: what the hell went down yesterday at Tiff Wong’s potluck. It felt like I was in the twilight zone and I actually can’t remember much of any detail from it because I was so damned nervous the entire time. Truth be told, I really didn’t want to go after I saw the Evite list because among the confirmed participants was Christina and then all of these other folks that knew me and Christina used to go out. Put all of us in a single household with minimum clearance between doorways and openings and it’s just a huge game of silent observation on all fronts. I could taste the tension in the air, the diversions in our steps, the detours we took to get where we needed to be just so we wouldn’t accidentally bump into each other. I also sensed all the eyes watching me. Clearly, I was one of the ones out of place because I really didn’t fit into the LI crew that was the majority. Towards the end of the night, I began to think that I was invited out of curiosity for the situation rather than out of Tiff’s desire for me to be there, though I would like to assume that a part of Tiff wanted me to be there simply because I was her friend.

But I do appreciate Tiff’s willingness to not retract my invitation simply because Christina was going to be there. Lately, it’s been so utterly annoying to just know that people are making the decision for me to not show up at a certain event or place because they feel I wouldn’t like being in the same room as Christina. This might be true for some occasions but certainly not for all (and as time passes, the occasions that call for such warning actions are dwindling). Contrary to what most believe, I do not mind being in the same room as Christina and would gladly appreciate it if from this point on, people would just consider Christina and I as separate individuals who are able to make decisions for ourselves. You don’t have to warn me that she will be anywhere that I will be heading to because I honestly don’t mind if I bump into her by accident. So Timmy, get your head out of your ass and stop giving me those damned wide-eyed surprised looks like the one you gave me at Tiff’s potluck when you came in late and realized that Christina and I were *GASP!* in the same room. It’s tiring and really really annoying.

I honestly understand the awkwardness of the situation that is Christina and I being in the same room. Believe me, it’d be great if sooner rather than later things were absolutely 100% ok between us two, but until they are, I don’t want to purposely go out of my way not to see her. I’m perfectly fine with bumping into her (haha, bumping) and even maybe exchanging casual greetings. I just don’t want to rush it, that’s all. If that makes any sense to you, then please, for my own sake and her’s too, stop volunteering to be our human separator. If we meet, we meet, and that’s how I’d like it to stay.

Reading over this entry for spelling mistakes, I realize that I do sound a bit hot-headed, which to me is a bit weird, since I wrote all of this while in a very good mood. An incredibly good mood, actually. I don’t know how I managed to churn out this well-thought out angry piece of writing while being so insanely content and happy on the inside. I swear, sometimes I am two minds in one body. And that’s how I like it! :)

Have a wonderful Independence Day!

PS: I know exactly what I did on this day last year. :D