Reserve A Spot In Heaven

Some of you won’t find this very funny, but I thought it was worth the effort of writing about since it’s so…I don’t even know. It’s just…unbelievable, maybe?

Reserve A Spot In Heaven is a website that advertises two package options for securing one’s way into Heaven. [via]

Reserve A Spot In Heaven is here for the sole purpose of allowing you the opportunity to secure your spot in Heaven before it’s too late. Yes, at the moment there is plenty of room in Heaven for you and all of your loved ones, but what most individuals don’t realize is that although a large portion of this space remains vacant, spots are filling very quickly. So quick that if you don’t act now you may lose your chance at getting in. How does a future of endless suffering sound? Not so good, which is why we are here to help.

How would you feel if when the day came to travel, you had to walk up that long flight of stairs to get into the clouds? You just had a rough past couple of days and the last thing you need is to walk up an enormous flight of stairs. After you reach the top you then get stuck in a long line waiting to get through those wonderful pearly gates. Days, maybe weeks pass, and you finally arrive at the front of the line and the gatekeeper tells you that there is no more room. Dang! If you would have only reserved your spot with us, there wouldn’t have been this problem. You could have been sitting pretty with a first class ticket straight to the gates with zero waiting, but instead, you will be sent down to live an uncertain life filled with pain and anguish.

Of course, the website is a joke…sorta. The site actually sells the packages and the contents of those packages, but they can’t really guarantee your place in Heaven (they can only guarantee paper products with their logo on it).

How about that now?