Are you a married Christian who is OBSESSED WITH SEXUAL PLEASURE?!?!?!?!

If so, then Christian Nymphos is the place for you! The site caters to the married female Christian demographic that has an “excessive sexual desire” for their husbands. On this website you can learn all sorts of handy tips and tricks to please your lover, such as

• “Christian” sex positions (I’m assuming these are the same as non-Christian positions)
• Costumes for role-playing (thank goodness they don’t suggest dressing up as Bible characters)
• Helpful books on all sorts of things related to having sex, oral sex, stripping, turning your partner on, etc. You get the idea…
• Sex toy recommendations
• Pregnancy tips, yadda yadda yadda

So yeah. There you have it. Sure, you might find some of their topics controversial, but at least they’re out there talking and writing about it, right?