I have 4 free Netflix one-month trials to give away to 4 random readers who submit an outstanding joke via the comments below. One winning entry per IP/email address.
Netflix’s normal trial period lasts only 2 weeks and the codes I have allow you to get an entire month for free. A great deal for a great service. I’ve been a subscriber to Netflix for a long time and it’s currently the one service I pay for that I would have a hard time giving up. It’s addicting. Plus, there are tons of streaming movies available to watch ANYTIME.
So go ahead, tell me a funny joke below and maybe you’ll get a month of free movies from me courtesy of Netflix!
UPDATE: I forgot to say that comments can be submitted until Thursday @ 2PM EST. Sometime after that, I will choose 4 random comments below as the winners. If you win, you will be notified via email! Thank you! The jokes so far are very funny! :)
UPDATE #2: WINNERS ANNOUNCED BELOW!
Thank you all for the funny jokes! Here are the 4 winners, selected randomly via Random.org:
- Clarence
- Whitney
- Morgan
- Lucy
If your name is there and you did not receive an email from me, please contact me for more info! Thank you!
Wanna hear 2 short jokes and a long joke?
…
jokejokejoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke!
A man is at the local bar drinking when he decides to go home. He goes to get up from the bar stool and immediately crashes to the ground. He tries to stand up but slams right back to the ground. Angrily he starts crawling home. Along the way he continues to try and stand up to no avail.
When he finally arrives home, the man’s wife says, “You’re drunk again!” to which he responds, “No I’m not, why would you say that?”
“You left your wheelchair at the bar again.”
Why don’t you buy women watches?
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..
…
..
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Cause there is a clock on the stove!!!!
*i apologize for my sexist jokes lolz*
i heard they recently put a tax on aspirin….
…because it’s white, and it works!!! bahahaha
the white leader said, “Hey all you guys, we have to get this mining shaft operational! Black dude, get the food! Indian dude, get the donkeys, Asian dude get the supplies! Everyone meet back here in an hour!!! Now GO!”
An hour later everyone gathers with their stuff except the Asian guy. White leader says, “Where the heck is Asian dude?” They all shrug and are puzzled until – out of nowhere the Asian guy jumps out from behind a rock holding a birthday cake and streamers and yells, “SUPPLIES!!!!”
I never got why women like cats so much. Theyre independent, they dont listen, they dont come when you call, they want to stay the whole night out and when they finally come home, they would just rather be left alone and sleep.
In other words, all those qualities that a woman hates in a man, she loves in her cat.
An Asian man walks into the currency exchange with 2000 yen and walks out with $72. Next week he walks in with 2000 yen, but gets $66. He asks the lady why he gets less money this week than last week.
The lady says, “Fluctuations. ”
The Asian man says, “Fluc you clazy Amelicans too!”
a bar owner is interviewing bouncers and in comes a tough looking guy.
he tells the bar owner, “you want a bouncer? i’m it. you can’t find anyone else tougher.”
“oh yeah,” the bar owner says. “tell me how tough you are.”
“i was breaking up a fight and this guy used a chain saw and took my arm off.”
“are you serious?!”
“that’s not the tough part. i took back my arm and sewed it back on.”
“wow! that’s tough. you’re hired, man.”
the guy smiled and gave one thumb up and one thumb down.
you see, he was trying to give two thumbs up but he sewed his arm back wrong =)
it’s a visual hahah!
an indian chief and his family walk into a fancy french restaurant. the maitre d’ approaches the chief and says, “excuse me, sir, but do you have reservations?” the indian chief takes a long pause and considers and finally says, “no. i’m certain i’d like to eat here.”
Spanky and the gang are in English class when the teacher announces they are going to have a spelling test. The word of the day, she tells the class, is “dictate.”
“Alfalfa, can you spell ‘dictate,’” the teacher asks.
“D-I-K-T-A-T-E,” says Alfafa.
“No, I’m sorry, that’s wrong. Spanky, can you spell ‘dictate’?”
“D-I-C-H-T-A-A-T-E,” says Spanky.
“No, I’m sorry, Spanky, that’s not right either. Buckwheat, can you spell ‘dictate’?”
“Sho. D-I-C-T-A-T-E. Dictate.”
“Wow, great job, Buckwheat. Can you use it in a sentence?” asks the teacher.
“Sho.” Buckwheat turns to Darla and says, “Hey, Darla – how my dick tate?”
hahahahahahahahahaha!
It was once said that a black man would be president “when pigs fly.” Indeed, 100 days into Obama’s presidency…. SWINE FLU!!
:)
Hahaha, I like this one.
A guy is visiting San Francisco, and walks into a small store in
Chinatown.
He notices a small bronze statue of a rat.
He asks the owner “how much”, and the owner replies “$50 for the bronze
rat, and $1000 for the story behind it”.
The guy says, “forget the story”, and buys the rat.
As he’s walking down the street he notices two live rats following him.
As he continues to walk, more rats start following him.
He starts to get a little concerned, and heads for the waterfront. By
the time he gets there there are thousands and thousands of rats
following him.
He walks up to the end of the pier and throws the bronze rat into the
bay, and the rats all follow and leap off of the pier and drown.
The guy rushes back to the store and walks in. The owner says, “Ah!, so
your back for the story”.
The guys says, “no, I was wondering if you have any bronze lawyers?”
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