when-harry-met-sally

New research reported in Scientific American suggests that men and women really can’t “just be friends”.

The results suggest large gender differences in how men and women experience opposite-sex friendships. Men were much more attracted to their female friends than vice versa. Men were also more likely than women to think that their opposite-sex friends were attracted to them—a clearly misguided belief. In fact, men’s estimates of how attractive they were to their female friends had virtually nothing to do with how these women actually felt, and almost everything to do with how the men themselves felt—basically, males assumed that any romantic attraction they experienced was mutual, and were blind to the actual level of romantic interest felt by their female friends. Women, too, were blind to the mindset of their opposite-sex friends; because females generally were not attracted to their male friends, they assumed that this lack of attraction was mutual. As a result, men consistently overestimated the level of attraction felt by their female friends and women consistently underestimated the level of attraction felt by their male friends.

It’s not a long article, so I recommend you read it rather than have me sum it up, but in short, men are actually stupid when it comes to figuring things out and women really are naive most of the time about it. Nothing we didn’t all know.

Was Sally right? Or does friend-love really exist?